


Falling in Space

by cardassianfamilyvalues



Category: Twin Peaks
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/F, Internal Monologue, Internalized Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25980919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cardassianfamilyvalues/pseuds/cardassianfamilyvalues
Relationships: Donna Hayward/Laura Palmer
Kudos: 7





	Falling in Space

Laura lay upside-down on the couch, at a careful perpendicular to Donna. She could feel Donna’s presence right beside her, as if they were laying side by side, instead of with several feet of carpet and air between them. They were too close, almost too close. She couldn’t be too near to Donna without feeling the dark smoke from the fire inside her, leaking out, strangling Donna. She’d read once about a whole family that died, unknowingly, in their sleep from a carbon monoxide leak. She was the carbon monoxide, the leak, slowly killing Donna. 

Donna was speaking with excruciatingly slowness about how wonderful James was. Yes, James was sweet. Too sweet, like rich fudge that made you sick afterward, an unhealthy treat that your aunt served at Thanksgiving. An apparent domestic wholesomeness, not for her, never for her. For James and for Donna, not for her. She could hear in her voice how badly Donna wanted James. It would be better for both of them— and she felt a hot stab of fury, at the idea of James with Donna, at the idea/memory of James on her lips, James and Bobby and— 

She was careening out of the sky into the abyss, and Donna was waiting on the rim of the clouds, holding out her hand. 

Who would feel this way, who could feel this way, toward her best friend? They had a wonderful friendship and she was corrupting it, like she corrupted everything. Like BOB corrupted her. Just by being around everyone she was dragging them down into hell with her, and she wanted to be brave and self-sacrificing but she didn’t want to let go of them, she wanted to be with them,--with her—and she screamed inside, at all the joy and affection BOB had stolen away from her. 

Her feeling were wrong, like the sick show she saw two girls put on for a few hooting accountants from Saskatoon, something that belonged at One Eyed Jack’s, to her other life, not here. 

Laura kissed her on the lips, once, those beautiful pink lips.  
“I love you, Donna,” Laura sobbed. “You don’t understand—”  
“Of course I understand—I love you too—”  
“NO! You don’t understand, you can’t—”  
Donna kissed her back, fiercely and passionately. “I do understand, Laura. I love you, all of you, and all of you is good. You don’t have to protect me.” She drew Laura closer, so close she could hardly stand it, and all she could feel was the evil inside her. Laura pushed Donna away, said, "Don't be such a stupid schoolgirl," fished in her pockets for a cigarette and a lighter, blew the smoke into Donna's face. 

Laura wanted just one thing in her life that isn’t festooned with stupid melodrama and guilt. One moment in her life that couldn’t be scored with screeching strings from a stupid horror movie. For now she only had the feeling of the old upholstery on her back, Donna’s lilting voice, and the fire.


End file.
